Two Sides

There are two sides to every love story. Hers and His. Here is one gritty story told through the immediacy and simplicity of emotional email. If you have a story you'd like to share, email brownbettiesgazette@yahoo.com and put TWO SIDES in the subject line.

Hers (June 16, 2006) )

I called him yesterday and we had a very trepidatious (word?) conversation and then I called him at the end of the day because I wanted to hear his voice. We were supposed to get together on Sunday to talk and stuff but when I called him he asked if I wanted to come over last night and I did. I was preparing myself for this to be the last time I was at his house but when he came downstairs and I saw him I just started grinning like a fool. I was so happy to see him. I did ask him if he had any more secrets and he said no. I asked him why he didn't tell me and he said that he was going to. Me "When?" Him "I was going to tell you." Repeat. Me "I thought you loved me?" Him "I do love you. I don't see what that has to do with it. I was going to tell you." I said some other stuff and I made a big deal of having him look me in the eye when he was talking to me. Me "The baby would be so pretty if it looked like my side of the family." Him "As long as it's good looking."

I told him that I want a partner and that is important to me and that I want a baby. He said he wants a partner but he doesn't want anymore kids because he'll be 67 when it's 20. Me "What about all the years in between?" I asked him if he had $10 million would he want a baby then and he said it isn't about the money.

I'm still all icky gooey in love with him. He showed me his movie that he's working on. He wants me to help him make it better. I want him to help me publish my book. Me "Did you miss me?" Him "Of course I did." He said that he thought I wasn't going to call him anymore and that this was going to be the end since we want different things. He also said that he figured that I'd call him from Brazil or something. I asked him if he thinks I'm going to just run off and he said yes. Ok, so there are some issues there and I can't be mad at him for that because as you are aware running away is my fantasy. I told him that I don't want to run away that I want to be with him. Me "I know you're done getting married and I don't need that." Him "That's not true I want to get married again and buy a house with someone." Well, it appears that we differ on one very important issue...so what to do? I think I'm going to stick with it and see where it goes.

This morning.....Him "Do you really want a baby?" Me "Yes." Him "No you don't." What? Anyway, I adore him and he makes me smile and I love him and being close to him. However, on the other hand I still feel kind of free and I don't know if that's about me feeling like he doesn't have anymore secrets from me or if I feel free to go out with other people and do whatever I want.

I guess time will tell. I feel more at ease than I have in a long time when it comes to our relationship. The break helped me out that's for sure. Do you think he'll budget on the baby thing? I don't want to lose him but I don't know what's it's like to be so absolute about something. I'm always willing to compromise.

His (September 26, 2006)

In your late and desperate quest to have a kid you
should run off to Atlanta or Braizl where it could
happen in less than six months or go back to dating
white boys.

I was all most there given my past this was the
best way for me I just need a little reasurance and
living together would have given me that. I read you
like a book if it's not your way then its all or
noting. Yeah it's better this way you are head for
singel parent hood because you are so desperate you
can't think about any thing else.

What about your book your movie looking for another
job they don't matter its just about a kid I hope you
don't end up a babies momma because you can barely can
take care of yourself. What do you do with your life
other than feel sorry for self and envey us of your
friends with families. YOU DO NOTHING but work out and
to to work which you hate and you only been on two job
intervies in the last year, and run behind your
firiends...the only one who has no one so lets all
feel sorry for her. You live vivariouly throuth your
fiends. LIVE YOUR LIFE TODAY My life is far from
perfect but I have always live it

Since I have known you thats all you talked about A
KID in sted of just letting it happen....We had
something good if you would have just stepped back
alittle you might have gotten what you wanted. Head
strong with get you nothing but along your fear of
becoming a an old maid is that much closer...looking
in the mirror what do you see? Do yo really
think at this age you have a shot...I mean really.
There is nothing funny about ending up along.

You need to start dating today remember you don't have
time you are 38 and time is running out...I heard
dating on line is good for women who want kids and
church is good.


We could have been happy with or with out a kid...

I'm the lucky one here...I was really starting to see
us as family and looking forward to living together me
and you 1st thats love and from comes a kid....I
wanted to move in with you get closer.

What you need is sprem donner...no man who gets wind
of 38 year women looking to get married and kid they
might fuck you. Marriage it could have but not in two
years, only if you put lid on desparate bit for kid.

Good Luck to you I just had to say this and get off of
my chest...you never hear from me again.