Dear Brown Abbey,
This month, "Big Kim" is our guest Brown Abbey!


Dear Brown Abbey:I'm a single, 36-year old, beautiful, talented, educated black woman living in a major metropolitain city. I keep hearing about this phenomena of great black women who are single. What is your take on this topic?


I will say if you are single and have all those other things in your life going for you then you are limiting herself somehow. What I mean is if you've got your life together then to find a man with the same, you got to be "out there" to meet him. You need to be in situations that constantly put you in direct contact with like minded men. They're not gonna find you sitting at home with you're degree! To put it plainly, I wanted a man with tattoos, know where I found one? A tattoo parlor!

Another mistake is limiting yourself. "I need a man who's six feet tall" or "he's gotta be rich, or white, or black, or Jewish" NO, What you need is an honest, loving, caring man who treats you well! In the long run that other stuff really doesn't matter at all! There's a great song written by Cole Porter called "Down in the depths on the 90th floor" It's about a woman living alone and lonely in her fabulous Penthouse! The chorus goes "why even the janitor's wife has a perfectly good love life"! Meaning, you may be in your fierce penthouse and she may only be married to a janitor, but she has a man who loves her! That Gucci handbag may be hot, but it won't keep you warm at night!!