Two Sides To Every Love Story
By The Editor
In honor of Father’s Day, and in yet another way to explore two sides to a love story, I thought it would be interesting to see how we choose a mate when we are a “one” trying to become a “two”.
We’ve read that women tend to choose men who are like their fathers. I did a little research (and I mean a little: just one Google-search worth of research) and found this "Daily Mail" article touting how women choose men who resemble their fathers. I’m a bit more curious about factors beyond resemblance; I want to know this: If a woman has a Bad Boy for a father, will she be doomed (ok, “more likely”) to choose a Bad Boy for her partner? Now, I’d presume my pops is a Bad Boy. I think he’d agree in that he’s pretty confident, handsome, charming, fun-to-be around when its Margarita time…and he’s known to not return my phone calls occasionally (ha!). He’s a great father and we have a great relationship; you can ask my mom or my stepmom about the other qualities that they might feel might make him more of a Bad Boy. So, you can see where I’m going with this. Yes, this about me. I tend to chose Bad Boys. That’s ok, because I’m aware of it and we’ve already established in our first issue that there’s nothin’ wrong with a Bad Boy! Yet, I’m curious. I want to know what other girls think…:
1. If we have a Bad Boy for a father, are we forever destined for Bad Boyness?
Babette (not her real name) says ~
I grew up without [my father] for much of my life after my parent’s divorce...I think that for me...rather than choose a mate that acts like him...I live in constant fear of abandonment.
I think this can hold true when woman are younger. We often times are acting from learned behavior (of our fathers) and until we are taught or experience otherwise we subconsciously veer toward men with these same tendencies. As we mature and learn from our experiences with men, the real type of man that we desire will become apparent and that is who we will search for in our quest for a long-term mate.
[Well, Terri did not actually answer this question for some reason, but the answer can kinda be found in her answer to the last question.]
2. Is your father a Bad Boy? If “Yes”, do you think he thinks he’s a bad boy?
Babette (again, not her real name)~
He's not a rolling stone or anything like that...but for much of his life stretched the truth out of a sense of wanting things to be grander than they were. [No, I don’t think he thinks he’s a Bad Boy.]
Yes; Oh he knows it!
2a. If “No”, do you think he wishes he were a Bad Boy?
No. My father is a man. He is not afraid to be sweet and loving, but he can handle his business. He has a sense of humor. He is always educating himself, reading, attending classes on subjects he's interested in. He is a shoulder to lean on. He is a man of faith.
3. What kind of man are you most attracted to?
Babette (still not her name) ~
[That’s a] loaded question, but men who are competent, self assured, thoughtful, logical and whole with a little of jerk sprinkled on top are very attractive. Fit too.
I'm attracted to a man who has a presence about himself that I recognize to be positive and forward moving. He has to be fun and very much into me! ;o)
A man who is independent. A man who is cuddly in a way with one really charming quality i.e. he has a nice voice or he writes and sings songs. It doesn't have anything to do with his size, but I like a man who can make me feel safe and loved. I don't usually go out with these guys. Guys like my father I usually make my friends. Boyfriends don't last, but friends do just like fathers.