"A Conversation With A Stranger"
By Cecilie Davis Carter
Uh, excuse me. Can you move over? A little? PLEASE? I’m tryin’ to be nice. But I’m starting to become annoyed, damn’t. I can’t see! I just think that it’s a bit rude to hog the entire mirror…don’t you? All I’m saying is that every time I go to look at myself, there you are. And honestly it’s one thing to haunt me in my own home…but you have taken this thing to a whole ‘other level. Your ass has followed me to every bathroom and every dressing room that I have stepped foot into over the last year…or two. Quite honestly, I’m sick and tired. I’m sick and tired of being SICK AND TIRED! I mean seriously…what is up with you? You keep stalking me! Who are you? Single black female? Crazy bitch. Get your own life, instead of trying to take over mine! You have the same hairstyle and the same clothes. You even have the same skin tone. The only major problem and huge ass difference is --I mean, honestly, whoever you are, I’m not trying to offend you and I know that you are really not tryin’ to hear it, but you can stand to lose a few “LB’s” .SORRY. Don’t give me that look. I don’t even know you. I mean, you have done a decent job of trying to be me, so all I’m saying is since you want it so bad; maybe you should work on that body! Look, I know no-“body” is perfect, but…again, if you are trying to impersonate me, then sweetheart, you gotta listen to a few bits of constructive criticism since you’re the one who constantly keeps jumping into my world: Those thighs are OUT OF CONTROL. How do you deal with the rubbing? Gross. And that BELLY? WHOA! That belly is massive. How do you handle the rolls? Can you TRY to suck it in? YEAH, that’s what I thought…Can you do anything about those breasts? I mean, I know guys like big tits and all, but, I think that that they like them kind of firm, and quite honestly gravity should not be pulling on them at your age. But that’s just my opinion…it’s whatever, do what you want. I’m just saying, if you continue to show up in my world as often as you do, it would be really nice if you would heed my warning. I’m talking about QUICKLY, TOO. WHY? Well because, it seems like you like me, and want to go where I go, and represent me and all, so do whatever it takes! But until then, PLEASE STOP SHOWING UP IN MY MIRROR?