Thursday, February 16, 2012

Brown Betties Guide:Tip #9
Be Happy Being #2…or #3

Is it really so hard to hold out to be his #1? Really? The answer is “Yes”. Sometimes.

How to Look For Love: Tip #9 Be Happy Being #2…or #3

When I lived in New York, my apartment was on 110th and Central Park, which marks the end or the top of Manhattan and the beginning of Harlem. I was “seeing” a boy (note the quote marks) who would have late-night music gigs in Greenwich Village; he would call me from his cab ride home from lower Manhattan on his way home to Harlem. If he took the west side home, his cab would pass my apartment.

As soon as I saw his name on my caller ID, I assumed that he’d already been calling this girl or that girl on his way Uptown …Mya in Soho, Liana in the 40s, Karimah in the 80s and finally, Peppur on 110. I figured that in a way, even though I was actually Girl Number 2, 3, or Number 5, by the time he reached my apartment, I was clearly Girl Number 1 because I was the closest to his home.

Uh, yeah. Get the fuuudge outta here.

While I’d get dressed, rub the sleep out of my eyes and get myself downstairs to wait on the corner for his cab, I felt schizophrenic. One side of me said, ”Girl, get your ass back upstairs” while the other said, “Nooo, I need my engine oiled”. That good girl side knew there were other chicas: this particular Joe was handsome, charismatic, creative…what girl wouldn’t want this guy? (One of those sides shoulda been patting myself on the back for having such good taste!)

I just wanted him to give me some time. Isn’t it better to be one of many instead of zero of none? Who wants to be alone every night watching reruns of “I Love Lucy” while guzzling a jug of screw-top Merlot?? Not me, sister!

I thought, albeit naively, that maybe, if I held on long enough, gave it some time, I’d eventually be his number 1.

Well that never happened. But somehow, in a shitty sorta way, when my number came up, I was happy.

Have you been happy being less than Girl Number 1? (And by happy, I mean “not”. Unless, you actually were! Give us your secret! C'mon...share the wealth :)

Brown Betties Guide book now available on and

No comments: